I thought I would try something new. I like writing and really wanted to see what you lovely people thought. This story is not real. These events did not happen. Enjoy
And there I was. Standing in the middle of the stage.
One spotlight on me. Only me. No one could see me nor did I want anyone
to. I was alone with my thoughts and all
of my emotions. The nightmares that tormented me night after night. I was in
the only place where I felt safe. The stage.
The place where I could be someone else. I could be a love struck
teenager or a hilarious grandmother who couldn't work the microwave. But it
always had to end. The curtain always closed and reality closed back in.
“Freak.” “What a
loser.” “She only wants attention. She’s just pretending.” Those words
echoed around in my brain. I fell to the ground. These words drove me to the
brink. My scars itched and I scratched until they bled yet again. It was okay.
I didn't feel any pain. I never did. Each time the blade touched my skin, I
felt the need to stop but also the familiarity of the numbness. It wasn't numbness of my feelings. I just thought the pain in my wrists would take away
the feeling of a dagger piercing my heart. It didn't I just felt more
hopeless.
It had been a normal morning when my day had started. I
woke up, got ready, took my medicine, and left for school. The second I enter
the school, I knew that something was wrong. Everyone was looking at me,
pointing and whispering. I didn't understand what had happened. I stopped in
the bathroom before I got to my locker to make sure that I looked alright.
Nothing unusual. Same style of sweatshirt, jeans, and a ponytail. I had to bend
down to look in the mirror as usual but all of the bathrooms were built for
midgets. Not for six foot giants. Very few guys were taller than me and no
girls. Another reason to stare at me.
I left the bathroom and people started staring again. I
just ignored it and headed for my locker. I got to it and stopped. Someone had
spray painted red stripes across it. Cuts. Notes around the vandalism read Wow, drama queen. Emo. Freak. Cutter. My
head spun. Who could have told? I had only told two people. My best friend and my
therapist. And only one of them was alive.
Eddie had been
alive until the accident. We were close, so close that people often thought
that we were going out. I had never revealed my real feelings for him and I
never got the chance. One phone call changed it all. There was a ring and then the
three words I dreaded most, “Eddie is
dead.” I had sunk to the floor. I couldn't believe it. My most important
person in the world was never going to laugh again. Tears didn't even fall. My
screams echoed around my house. No. He couldn't be gone. I hadn't even told him
that I loved him.
The thought of Eddie sent me coursing back to my shaking
state. I was laying on the stage. My arms dripped red and the world spun. I
knew I had to hold on though. I had to show the world how much I hurt. There
was a small pool around me. I used that blood to write my last note before I
fell asleep. I swallowed pill after pill until I couldn't take anymore. And
then I sang. Ballads, pop, rock, sad songs, arias, anything I could think of. I
wanted to die doing what I loved without any criticism.
As my world starting going black, I saw a form in the
doorway. Eddie. He was just my imagination. But I realized that I had promised
him. I swore that I would never end my life and that if he died first that I
would carry on his legacy and finish what he started. I was still laying on the
ground but I managed enough energy to dial the three numbers. I only spoke two
words, “Help me.” Then the my eyes closed and I forgot everything.
The next day, I woke up in a white room. My mom was
there. I had been found on the stage in critical condition and rushed to the
hospital. I was going to have to stay there for a while but I would get help. I
would get better.
